SHIFT Blog Tour - Deleted Scene Guest Post with Jeri Smith-Ready

I'm so excited to have Jeri Smith-Ready on the blog today as part of her SHIFT tour. Jeri will be around the blogosphere plus there's daily prizes & a grand prize too! Last year, I fell in love with SHADE and have been dying (no pun intended) ever since to read SHIFT. The combination of love, music, a unique spin on a supernatural world (should I mention a hottie with an Irish accent?) had me hooked. Take it away Jeri!
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Thanks to Mel for hosting me today on the SHIFT blog tour! After the post, check out your chance to win books and a special prize.

I’m insane about revising. I don’t just revise or even rewrite a book—I dismantle it and rebuild it from the ground up. A first draft is just a guess.

That means that when I delete a scene, it’s usually because I’ve changed the story. Sharing it requires lots of explaining. (“Um, okay, imagine that instead of a ghost in the woods, they meet a shotgun-toting survivalist with a pack of dogs consisting of two deerhounds, a beagle, and a Jack Russell Terrier. She holds them hostage and demands they make her a baby to replace the kid she lost in a government siege.”)

So I was stumped as to which scene I could share with you. Then yesterday, someone on Twitter told me how much they loved SHIFT’s first chapter. I was thrilled to hear this, because I rewrote that chapter approximately a million times. It seemed like the perfect choice for a deleted scene.

So this was the original opening for SHIFT, from Logan’s point of view (warning: if you haven’t read SHADE, this contains a subtle spoiler, but nothing you can’t figure out from reading the back cover of SHIFT):

I. Intro

While I was a shade,
I could see everyone
And no one.
An empty eternity of souls,
Alive, dead, crying, laughing.
Once
I thought I saw her face
But it was devoured by the dark.

While I was a shade,
I went everywhere
and nowhere.
Following the shrinking shadows
Like stepping-stones across a rising river.
Once
I thought I found her bed,
But it was lost in the light.

While I was a shade,
I heard everything
and nothing.
All sounds in the world,
Whirled inside me at once.
Once
I thought I heard her voice,
But it was swallowed by the silence.

Until now.

Later, Logan has two interludes, the non-spoilery parts of which I’ll include here:

Interlude #1

While I was a shade,
Aura started sleeping
On her right side
On the right side
of the bed,
So she couldn’t see the empty space
where I used to lie.

Now that I’m a ghost,
she still sleeps on her right side
on the right side.
So I lie here talking to the back of her head
Until she sleeps.

Then I walk the streets of Dublin
or New York
or Washington
or even here in Baltimore.
But it’s not the same as before,
when I knew I’d return to her side.
Now I’m just killing time,
Since time can’t kill me.

And

Interlude #2

While I was a shade,
my family pictured me in hell.
I wasn’t, not really.
But that didn’t stop some of them
from trying to join me there.

I watch Mickey and Siobhan
walk across our high school stage
where we once performed.
The adoring crowd whistles and claps.
But my brother and sister
hold no instruments
and sing no songs.
They collect their diplomas
and stride into the future,
on a path I can never follow.

Why did I originally include these?

1. The book needed more Logan than I had scenes to give him. Though he’s dead, he brings loads of life and energy to the story.


2. In the first draft, SHIFT’s scenes were clustered into three time frames: Spring Equinox, Prom, and Summer Solstice. The interludes summed up the events occurring in those six-week gaps.


3. The interludes give SHIFT a three-act structure and a musical feel, which fits with the drama and themes.


4. I just plain liked them.

Alas, none of my early readers really got what I was going for. They thought the
interludes were Logan’s poems or songs, not realizing they were part of the narrative, just told in a different voice and style. When I explained them to my editor, she felt that SHIFT should be consistent with SHADE and keep to Aura’s point-of-view, to avoid confusing readers.

She was probably right about that. A writer creates expectations with the first book, and the sequels should fulfill or exceed them, not totally mess with them.

The bigger issue: the story’s time gaps. The events Logan mentions in the interludes— the spoiler-y parts I cut out for this post—deserved to be shown, not just summarized. I had to smooth out the transitions between those chronological “lumps of action.”

Ultimately, those “between times” ended up being some of my favorite scenes. I made Logan part of the action, not just an observer. I made Aura live through the post-Prom pain in person.

In short, I made the book better. That’s what rewriting is all about. While it was tough to cut these pieces that I loved in themselves, it was definitely for the best. I’m so glad I could share them with you today!





P.S.: For more of Logan’s lyrical musings, check out the short story “Bridge,” in the upcoming ENTHRALLED anthology, out September 20.











What do you think of this deleted scene and my decision to cut it? (For comparison, the final version of Chapter One is on my website . In general, do you enjoy reading deleted scenes and hearing the stories behind their “disposal”? Do you watch the deleted scenes section of DVDs?

Also, do you agree that each novel in a series should have the same feel, or is it okay for authors to “color outside the lines” and try new things with each book? What about when an author starts a new series—are you disappointed or excited when it’s a little different from what they’ve done in the past? What is it about a series or an author that keeps you coming back? Inquiring minds are dying to know!

Answer one or more of these questions, or ask Jeri a question, in the comments below to enter today’s drawing. There will be two winners.

The Prizes:

Winner # 1 gets a signed copy of SHIFT, plus a Keeley Brothers button (autographed on the back), courtesy of Jeri.












Winner #2 gets an unsigned copy of SHIFT, courtesy of Jeri’s publisher.












Additionally all commenters will be entered into a draw to win the Grand Prize - annotated copies of SHADE and SHIFT, an early copy of SHIFT (book three of the series, of which there will be no other ARCS) and an iPod Shuffle!

Open to international entries! Winners will be drawn after 24 hours.




Author Bio: Jeri Smith-Ready’s next release is SHIFT (May 3), the second in the YA ghost trilogy that began last year with SHADE (which just came out in paperback April 5). She loves to hear from readers, so please visit her at www.jerismithready.com, or better yet, on Facebook (www.facebook.com/jerismithready) or Twitter (@jsmithready),where she spends far too much time.